The Lamborghini was not designed with ergonomics in mind. Trying to fit six people into it was a test of willpower and patience. Even with its roof lowered, Feng Na, Cheng Cheng, Zhou Qin had to crawl and squeeze themselves into the tiny convertible's back seat.
"Su Chan and I could've taken a cab, you know…" Li Yundong told President Cao after she had pulled away from the curb.
President Cao snorted. "No point taking a cab when my car has enough room for everyone."
Li Yundong turned his head towards the backseat. Yeah? I wouldn't call that enough room. Despite their slim figures, Feng Na, Cheng Cheng, and Zhou Qin looked anything but comfortable in the backseat.
"Stupid FcupCC," Feng Na mumbled. "Why didn't you grow smaller boobs?"
Cheng Cheng snorted. "You're just saying that because you're a flat-chested—oof!"
Cheng Cheng stopped talking when Feng Na's elbow connected with her ribs.
Li Yundong chuckled and turned around to face the front. Su Chan sat between his legs, poking around the Lamborghini's fancy center console.
"President Cao, I think you should drop us off at the campus so that I can retrieve my car." Zhou Qin's strained voice sounded from the backseat. "No offense, but it really doesn't feel comfortable sitting like this."
"Why don't we just pick a place near the campus to have lunch?" Feng Na suggested.
Li Yundong laughed. "We might as well just eat at the campus cafeteria!"
President Cao did a cheer, clapping her hands together. "Nice! That's a great idea! It's been so long since I've tried the food there! I kinda miss—"
"Whoa! Watch out!"
"Hey! Watch where you're going!"
A chorus of screams sounded.
President Cao quickly gripped the steering wheel and steered the Lamborghini to the correct lane. "Whoops! Sorry. I haven't been back to the university after I graduated. Guess I got a little excited."
"I bet you're just saying that because it's cheaper to eat at the cafeteria," Li Yundong teased. "Didn't know you're this cheap, boss."
President Cao shot Li Yundong a glare. "Cheap? Seriously? Do you know how much money and effort I've expended to clean up the mess you made at Shengyuan Hotel?"
Li Yundong's face fell. Uh-oh…
"Ahem... Well… Surely, a woman of unparalleled beauty and status such as yourself wouldn't hold it against a humble citizen like me..."
President Cao snorted, then rolled her eyes. "Humble citizen. Right."
Li Yundong gave her a strange look. "What?"
President Cao chuckled. "If you are just a humble citizen, then everyone else are all just lowly peasants."
"How about a troublemaker?" Zhou Qin added from the backseat. "You have no idea how much trouble Li Yundong can cause in literally just days."
Li Yundong laughed, then wrapped his arms around Su Chan. "Hey, princess. Looks like these women are all ganging up on me. Won't you step out and defend me, my dear?"
Su Chan sat up straighter inside Li Yundong's embrace. She turned around and gave everyone a menacing look. At least as menacing as it could be when those chipmunk pouches of hers were on full display—her cheeks were puffed out.
Su Chan swung her tiny fist. "None of you are allowed to bully Yundong! I'm the only one who can bully him!" More fist swinging ensued.
Everyone in the car was stunned into silence.
Moments later, laughter filled the Lamborghini's interior.
Li Yundong began pinching Su Chan's cheeks.
"Wuaad?? Yeeww asshhk mee dooo diifffainn you..."
And she did. In her cute, chipmunk sort of way. And he wouldn't have it any other way.
The cafeteria was almost full by the time the group arrived. Students sat around the tables with their heads half-buried in books while they ate.
"Wait, didn't you guys have exams to sit for today?" Li Yundong asked once they found an empty table.
"We left the exam hall early so that we could go look for you," Cheng Cheng answered.
Li Yundong smile wryly. "I wish I could sit for the exams like you guys..."
Anything was better than being hunted by a crazy girl with flying damasks and brawling with a jacked up psycho.
Zhou Qin shook her head and let out a sound of disapproval. "How insensitive of you to say that, Li Yundong. All of us have to study hard to earn our semester credits, but look at you. You skipped over ten lectures, and now you're getting all your credits without even trying." Zhou Qin sighed. "How unfair."
Li Yundong laughed. "Well, in that case, allow me to make up for my insensitive remark by sharing with you guys a personal motto of mine. Call it a pearl of wisdom if you like."
Feng Na chuckled. "Ooh! This is interesting. What pearl of wisdom? Do tell! Do tell!"
Li Yundong sat up straighter and closed his eyes. "Ahem! Ahem! Okay. The pearl of wisdom is..." Li Yundong paused for a dramatic effect. "Studying will lead to failure!"
When Li Yundong opened his eyes, everyone except Su Chan was looking at him as though he'd grown ten heads.
Silence permeated their table.
Then, Cheng Cheng burst into giggles. "Oh, come on! That's bullshit!"
Li Yundong gave her an affronted look, then studied each person at the table. Feng Na, Zhou Qin, and President Cao still had skeptical looks on their faces. And finally, when he turned to Su Chan for support, his princess looked adorably puzzled.
Suddenly, Li Yundong chuckled. "You girls clearly don't believe me." He nodded a few times. "But don't worry. I can prove it."
Feng Na raised a brow. "Uh-huh..."
Li Yundong laughed. "I really can."
Feng Na smirked. "Yeah? How?"
Li Yundong leaned back confidently. "With mathematics."
"With mathematics?" President Cao said, putting down her teacup. "Okay. Now I have to listen to this. I have a feeling this is gonna be interesting." She gestured at Li Yundong. "Well? Go ahead then. Show us the proof of this statement of yours."
Li Yundong nodded smugly. "Why, you see, my friends. It is merely a matter of simple algebra."
Su Chan hadn't a single clue what this elliegeebra thingy was, but when Yundong asked her for his notebook and pen, she took them out from his backpack obediently.
Yundong placed the notebook at the center of their table, then flipped through a few pages of her doodles—oopsie—until he reached a blank page.
"So!" Yundong said, clicking the pen. "Let's begin!"
Everyone leaned forward to look at page.
Yundong wrote down a simple line: Studying = No Failure.
Yundong stopped writing and glanced around the table. "Everyone agrees with this?"
Su Chan looked around the table and saw everyone nodding. Su Chan looked down at the page again. To be fair, the rule wouldn't apply in the world of Cultivation. It would take so much more than just studying to succeed in any endeavors in Cultivation. Then again, she supposed the rule sounded quite reasonable when applied to exams. But still, where was he going with this?
Yundong wrote down another line: No Studying = Failure.
Yundong looked around the table again. "Agree?"
Once again, everyone else at the table gave nods. Hmm, that seemed pretty reasonable too. Su Chan scratched her head.
Yundong smirked. "Therefore..."
Studying + No Studying = Failure + No Failure.
"And..." Yundong said.
Studying (1 + No) = Failure (1 + No)
Studying = Failure (Q. E. D)!!!
Yundong dropped the pen onto the table.
"And there you have it! The mathematical proof of this time-tested principle of life!"
Silence spread across their entire table.
Su Chan stared at the page. She had never felt so confused in her life.
Zhou Qin was the first one to react: by bursting into giggles.
Seconds later, Feng Na and Cheng Cheng threw their heads back in laughter. Even the older lady, President Cao, was chuckling into her hand.
So this nonsensical thing was elliegeebra? B- But Su Chan didn't understand a single thing! Su Chan glanced at the page, then at the other women, who were pretty much laughing their heads off. Worse, Yundong was laughing together with them! Hmph! Meanies!
Gaaahhh! Master… why didn't you teach Chan'er elliegeebra back in the mountains…? Now I feel like a total idiot…
At one point, someone started slapping the table. Su Chan looked up and saw Feng Na pressing her forehead against the table's surface. "This is complete nonsense," Feng Na got out between laughter. "I can't believe you spout all that crap with a straight face! Dear God..."
Su Chan had had enough. She tugged Yundong's sleeve. "What's so funny?"
Yundong stopped laughing and stared at her. "What? You didn't get it?"
Meanie, meanie! Stop rubbing it in! Grr... Su Chan puffed out her cheeks, then shook her head.
"Alright, alright, enough already…" President Cao said. "We should get some food first. You guys go ahead. I'll wait here."
Finally some food! Su Chan leaped to her feet, then pulled Yundong up.
"Whoa, slow down, princess," Yundong said.
"I'm hungry!" Su Chan said, then began marching towards the queue.
Ten minutes later, everyone was back at the table, which was now filled with trays and plates. Su Chan had merely taken several bites when she noticed something strange: instead of digging into their food, everyone was staring at her. Correction: staring at her tray.
Su Chan blushed and looked at Yundong sheepishly. "B- But... Y- You said I could un... unleash m- my... appetite..."
Yundong laughed, then gave President Cao a look. "Now do you believe me?"
President Cao nodded without taking her eyes off Su Chan's tray. The poor woman looked like she was about to pass out. Should Su Chan give the woman another massage? She sure looked like she needed one.
Su Chan glanced down and took stock of everything she had piled onto her tray: six medium-sized bowls of rice; three apples; two bowls of those tubular noodles (mah-roh-nee? ma-cah-roh-nee something, something); a plate of roasted chicken; a bowl of beef stew; a plate of mixed veges; two small bowls of soup; one of those bread dishes with patty in between (the ones at Mac Doo Nurls tasted nicer).
Su Chan blushed, then sneaked a glance at Yundong. Well, at least he didn't look angry. She suspected that Yundong had already figured out by now why she had such a huge appetite. He'd probably put two and two together ever since he found out that she was a fox spirit.
Yundong patted Su Chan's head and gave her a smile that nearly melted her heart. "Eat up, princess." Then, he leaned in and whispered into her ear. "I know you haven't eaten in two days. You've probably been busy watching over me when I was trying to pass the Zhuji phase. And..." Yundong's hand slid into hers under the table. "You passed out several times, right?"
Su Chan nodded. "Mmm!"
When she passed out the first time, she really thought it'd be all over for the both of them. But for some strange reason, she woke up a while later feeling much better. It was as if her Qi had been restored. She still hadn't figured out how that happened.
A woman cleared her throat behind her.
Su Chan turned around and saw two girls standing beside their table. Hey... I know these two...
The two girls wore dresses of the exact same style and had identical faces. The only way to tell them apart was from the headbands they were wearing—one of them wore a red headband while the other wore a blue one.
"Deng Yu? Deng Jiao?" Yundong said. "Hey, what's up? Long time no see!"