Excitement overwhelmed the audience as the curtains rolled up.
“During the Eastern Han Empire, there was the Yellow Turban Rebellion. Everywhere was in chaos and citizens were suffering! However, amidst the disorder, three brave warriors sharing the same ideology decided to take on the responsibility of rebuilding the nation! Among them is the Tactic Abilities Master - Liu Bei - Liu Xuande!” Panty Uncle narrated.
With two swords and a basket of sandals on his back, Ye Cang appeared in the middle of the busy market. As he gradually looked up to the peaceful sky, he frowned and mumbled. “This place will soon be disturbed…”
“Hey, hey, hey, you’re contradicting with the chancellor’s (Zhuge Liang) role…” The audience sweated when they heard Ye Cang’s opening line.
“The motivating teen whose dream is to rape Diao Chan - Zhang Fei - Zhang Yide!”
Lin Le hopped out from the yard of the butcher’s store with a roar. “Roar! I want to rape Diao Chan!”
“Lastly, the fugitive who has been hiding and escaping all year long - Guan Yu - Guan Yunchang!”
“To be honest, Lord Guan Yu would be mad if he knows this is how you describe him.” Zhang Zhengxiong sighed as he grabbed a handful of green beans.
“Assemble! Assemble!” Ye Cang pulled them over. “First, we’ll go to the Blossom Garden and pledge our oath to brotherhood. Then, we’ll make our way to Luoyang to assist Third Brother to rape Diao Chan. I shall see how well the sandal business would be there, maybe we can get it listed. As for you, Second Brother, I think you can surrender yourself to the police bureau in Luoyang, hoping that they might reduce your sentence. As for the bounty, please write Third Brother’s and my name as the beneficiary. But of course, I’ll take the bigger portion…Haha!”
“And so, the three heroes embarked on their journey to Luoyang with the spirit of nationalism burning in their hearts.”
“Are you sure they are going to rebuild the country…”
Just when the audience was in doubt, the three of them passed a forest.
“Save me! Save me!” FrozenCloud appeared in a white European dress.
“Who are you?!” Lin Le shouted.
“I’m Snow White.” FrozenCloud replied.
“Speak Chinese!” Lin Le then pierced and swung her into the sky with his snake spear. FrozenCloud was dead upon landing. “We can move on to the poisoned apple scene…”
Meanwhile, Wu Na rushed over with an apple and her team of armies. Staring at FrozenCloud who was lying in a pool of blood, she said. “Hmph. Can’t believe this b*tch is dead. So much for spending my money on the apple. Warriors, if you need any help in the future, I, the Black Queen would never hesitate to help!”
“By then, she invited the warriors for a feast in her castle. Later, she joined the team on their adventure to Luoyang.’
“No, no, no, that’s not the main point. What’s important is that they invited the Black Queen to rebuild the country with them. Would the fairy tales and the Legend of the Three Kingdoms which we’ve known from young be fake?”
“I knew it! I knew Snow White is the villain! How can she fool around with the seven dwarfs?! She must be some bad princess! Let me create a fan club for the Black Queen!”
“......maybe your fairy tale and ours are two different versions.”
ThornyRose then picked a character randomly and got Zuo Ci. There’s no way I can be defeated with this character! Riding on the heavenly crane, she headed to Luoyang. “Let’s go find them.”
“Brother Lil’White, look! There is a big swan in the sky!” Lin Le pointed his spear at the sky along the journey.
“Hunt it down! On your mark! 3, 2, 1! Shoot!” Ye Cang tossed both of his swords while Lin Le and Zhang Zhengxiong tossed their snake spear and green dragon crescent blade. Instantly, all of the weapons pierced through the crane and ThornyRose.
“Just how cruel can they be? They’ve just killed their teammate.” The audience stared at them as the crane fell together with a tiny human figure as seen from afar.
“This sums up the death of Zuo Ci on his journey to Luoyang.”
“What a pity. I wanted to grill the suckling meat but now it’s become a meat patty already…” Ye Cang sent the crane flying with a kick.
“Is there someone?! Through this bunch of flesh, I think it’s Sister Rose.” Zhang Zhengxiong was staring at the unknown corpse that was crushed into a flatbread by the crane.
“Oh really?! Who cares anyway! Let’s go! We’re in a rush.” Ye Cang pulled his swords from ThornyRose’s corpse.
“......” Wu Na perspired as she stared at ThornyRose’s corpse.
The scene changed.
The ministers were obediently gathered outside the ancient capital of Luoyang.
Meanwhile, Flasher Uncle was taking sips from his wine in the palace.
“Report! Hua Xiong was killed by Liu Bei!”
“Report! Lu Bu was killed by Liu Bei!”
“Report! Gao Shun was killed by Liu Bei!”
“Report! Cao Cao was killed by Liu Bei!”
“Report! Guo Jia was killed by Liu Bei!”
“Well, Cao Cao and Guo Jia aren’t our allies, are they?” Flasher Uncle was speechless.
“Report! Guan Yu publicly fingered the Red Hare in front of two large troops of armies and killed Yuan Shu!”
“.....” Flasher Uncle slammed the table and stood up. “Give me the Axe of Xingtian! How dare they treat a ferocious tiger as a timid cat just because it didn’t roar!”
The audience stared at the corpses scattered all over the ground outside the city and could not believe their sight.
“Hua Xiong, Lu Bu, Gao Shun were killed by Liu Bei single-handedly. I think the tale of the Three Heroes battling Lu Bu is fake...I need to calm myself down…”
“My Emperor Liu is indeed impressive. Actually, it’s not really unbelievable. In the story, he could stop Guan Yu and Zhang Fei on his own so I guess his strength is rather comparable.”
“They are starting to kill the ministers! Yuan Shao is dead too! But Guo Jia is actually China’s current greatest support - the showgirl goddess - Ye Tian! Ah! What a pity! She was being stabbed by Brother Le for at least 30 times and being swung around in mid-air. If we didn’t know that they’re in the same team, I couldn’t imagine just how great their hatred would be.”
“This is what sacrificing means.”
The gate to the City of Luoyang burst away. Carrying the axe, Flasher Uncle walked out from the gate in the midst of the smoke. The strong wind emphasized his strength as he pulled off his long robe. His elephant had three dreadlocks and his eyes were filled with arrogance. With a wicked smile, he dropped his axe. “Get going! You guys won’t be able to enter Luoyang as long as I’m in charge of guarding! Hahahaha!”
“Let’s rape Diao Chan!” Flasher Uncle smirked.
“Feifei! Save me!” Just then, Song Xin, acting as Diao Chan was being tied onto the city banner.
“Hey, hey, that’s the man who’s been wanting to rape you since young…”
Everyone felt intimidated by Flasher Uncle’s aura. They felt that the Dong Zhuo in front of them was like the real Xingtian. Some of them even shivered.
“I know what your purpose is! Because of her! All of you came here just for the sake of Zhang Yide’s childhood dream, not yours. But as the King of theCity, everything here belongs to me! Muahahaha! Muahahaha!”
“Brother, Flasher Uncle looks so strong.” Through the battle with Flasher Uncle previously, Zhang Zhengxiong knew that he was not only a pervert but also a pervert with unpredictable martial art skills. Even though they were in the virtual world, he was still afraid of him.
“Lele, go test him out.” Ye Cang signaled. Immediately, Lin Le reacted by tossing his spear which was still piercing Guo Jia’s corpse at him. “Eat my spear! Elephant monster with dreadlocks!”
Flasher Uncle swiftly grabbed his axe and a red light flashed. “Too weak!”
The corpse immediately disbursed into pieces and the aftershock knocked Lin Le a few hundred meters away. Lin Le was stuck at a tree.
Zhang Zhengxiong gasped. Is Flasher Uncle’s Dong Zhuo some bug?! This power is just like the characters in Dragon Ball who inherited the wrong strengths.
On the other hand, Ye Cang frowned. It’s so strong. Flasher Uncle isn’t someone easy to battle with anyway but this Dong Zhuo’s strength is so overwhelming. I’m afraid we wouldn’t be able to fight him. “Do you have other conditions to let go of Diao Chan and let my Third Brother rape her to make his dream a reality? It’s best not to harm the relationship between us since it’s the New Year season now.”
“......” The audience was speechless. What do you treat Diao Chan as? Shameless.