After bringing them the food, Old Wang and Old Li returned to prepare the materials.

The bunch of them were sitting on the beach, tanning under the warm spring sunlight that struck right on their skin. Liu Bei was drinking the ramen soup. Hmm...just now, Brother Lil’White and Sister Little Tian were talking about the job distribution in the manor. Everyone is asked to plant something. After a moment of contemplating, he decided to plant some corn. Cao Cao was enjoying his char siu (barbecued pork) rice. As he stretched to loosen his muscles, a thought of planting broad beans came into his mind. Meanwhile, Sun Quan wondered while eating his luxurious bento. Why must we plant vegetables? Can’t we plant some flowers? If that’s the case, I’ll plant cauliflowers. It’s a flower and also a vegetable. Most importantly, it can be used to excrete oil. The food we had in the virtual world was a total torture! Saying that it was a hundred times more disgusting than shit is just an understatement. “Hey, Old Liu, can I have a tempura prawn from your ramen…”

“Here. In return, I want that Golden Chicken Skin. Give me some,” Liu Bei and Sun Quan exchanged food.

“I want to eat...” No waiting for Cao Cao to finish his sentence, Liu Bei shouted, “Shut up and eat your rice! God damn it. You still dare to ask for food when you finished all the char siu and left only the rice?!”

“How about exchanging rice with your ramen?” Cao Cao’s words totally earned himself nothing but a despised look from Liu Bei. With a sigh, Sun Quan passed him some minced meat and vegetables, “Remember to leave me a piece of char siu next time.”

Their interactions made SpyingBlade speechless. Look at yourself. How dare you guys say I’m gay? You look so sissy even when eating take-outs! He then dug into his mixed rice.

“Old Zhao, I’ve got some bitter gourd here. Can I exchange them for some cucumbers with you?” Fang Ci hated bitter gourd since he was young.

“......” It felt as if a tight slap landed on SpyingBlade’s face. With a bitter smile, he exchanged the food with him. I like bitter gourd anyways. “Look at your sister…”

After doing the prayers according to the Elephant Religion rituals, Fang Tong ate the food with much gracefulness and kept on praising the Elephant and the religion.

Little Ye Tian frowned at the nine-dish bento. Except for white rice, I dislike everything here. Fermented bean curd, celery, Chameleon plant, cured meat, mung bean sprout, fried egg with Chinese Mahogany, and fried bee pupae, eww... Just then, Lin Le’s voice came out from nowhere, “Brother Lil’White, Little Tian is being picky with the food! She is so naughty!”

This bento must have been ordered by that bastard Lele! She frustratedly stuffed a large pile of food into her mouth.

“Little Tian is eating well. Which part of it shows that she is naughty? Lele, give me one Overlord Rib.”

“Brother Lil’White, but I only have two. I was planning on saving it till the last.”

“Just give me one, I’ll give you two beef slices. Quick.”

“Okays…” Lin Le reluctantly gave him a rib.

“Come and eat some fruits. I think the tree will fall if we don’t pluck some of them. There are just too many of it.” Wu Na and Zhang Zhengxiong were carrying two large baskets of fruits in various colors and shapes.

“What should we do in the afternoon?” Sun Quan took a bite of the blue fruit.

“Don’t ask me. I just want to lay on the beach for a quiet sunbath. There’s a hell-ranked war waiting for us tomorrow…” Liu Bei laid on the warm beach and lit up a cigarette stick.

“Me too. I better think of some tactics and counter-attacks now since it is in the same rank with the Little Girls’ Heaven. That fear of uncertainties is making me uncomfortable,” Cao Cao laid down and helped himself with a stick of cigar.

“I’ll think that tomorrow, we should…” Not giving the chance for Lin Liang to finish the sentence, the three of them glared at him with the you-better-shut-the-hell-up-before-we-beat-you-up expression. He then sighed with a flap of his feathered fan. Okay…They are like three Yuan Shao(s)...

Huang Zhong was enjoying his Oden. As the saying goes ‘save the best for last’, he was chewing the beef tendon slowly, allowing every single bit of the taste to trigger his taste buds. Yes, this is the taste. It’s so much better than any of those sold in the convenience stores! Zuo Yiyi was observing him secretly. He likes tendons! I’ll take note of it...

The others were witnessing the battle between Zhao Xiangyu and RedMoon and Ye Cang commented after a glance, “Xiangyu can’t win against RedMoon.”

“How do you know?” curiosity got the better of Wu Na while she was eating the fruit.

“You can tell by just looking at their breaths. RedMoon’s breathing is slow and steady. She must have practiced very hard for that. The battle will end once she makes a move.” Just when Ye Cang finished his sentence, RedMoon claimed her victory easily with true enough, just one move. However, to her surprise, Zhao Xiangyu’s speed and attacks were so clean and precise to the extent that she was amazed.

“Not bad, even though this young lady’s talent is average, she is hardworking. You can tell from her way of combat,” Sun Quan commented on Zhang Xiangyu. Cao Cao could not be bothered. “I had already won hundreds of battles when I was her age.”

“Well, I think highly of her. Look at her eyes, don’t you think they look similar to mine? Never give up! This lady will definitely be a great woman in the future. As for the talents, no guarantees. Didn’t you guys witness so many talented people die or end up useless in front of your eyes? Aren’t those examples enough?” Liu Bei relaxed comfortably.

“I guess you’re right. This lady is stronger than you but she’s not as shameless as you. Hey, why don’t you teach her some escaping skills? She was too rushed just now,” Cao Cao laughed.

“A person being chased after by Lu Bu and Ma Chao until his balls were almost broken dares to comment on me?!” Liu Bei sneered at him. “She is Brother Lil’White’s apprentice, I’ll definitely give her some tricks and advice.”

“Cousin White, how about letting me teach her for a while? For things like sewing sandals, you know,” Liu Bei asked Ye Cang.

“It’s her honor. Xiangyu, quickly thank master uncle…” Zhao Xiangyu was confused upon hearing what Ye Cang said. A food delivery man teaching me? Yet, she had no doubts about Ye Cang’s acknowledgment and so she bowed, “Master Uncle Liu, thanks for your advice in advance…”

“Sigh, learning how to write poems from me is better than learning anything at all from him,” Cao Cao turned around and started reading a poem from the Song Dynasty. Just then, Sun Quan’s phone rang, “Oh, thank you for giving me a chance to join the screen test, director.” 

“Hmph, equipped with my knowledge, I can be an actor and I’m about to become one. A food delivery man and a french fries cook...What a pleasant future…” Sun Quan hung up the call.

“Don’t set your hopes too high. Speak after you pass the test, Sun Hundred Thousand[1],” Cao Cao smirked.

“Old Cao, can’t you just motivate him? Sun Short D*ck, I wish you all the best…” Liu Bei laughed.

“You guys are just jealous…” Sun Quan grabbed a purple staircase-looking fruit.

AV came over and as he heard about it, “Yo, Old Sun, what’s the name of the director?”

“Mackarja!”

“Oh, he is famous! This fella is well known for filming animals having sex. From pigs to koi fishes, he has filmed almost all of the animals he could find. If I’m not mistaken, his team is preparing a film called ‘The Fate of Man and Horse’. I think you should be filming with a horse. Oh, and according to his mindset, you would be the one being raped…”

I caught Liu Bei’s and Cao Cao’s attention as they started to persuade Sun Quan to go try out the screen test.

“.....” Sun Quan was speechless and deleted the contact. “Looks like prioritizing academics is the most fundamental way of developing a nation… Oh wells, imma read my book.”

Sun Quan then took out a book about how the Badger game works and how to prevent it from an actor’s perspective. Liu Bei was reading something about whether it is right to have an abnormal relationship between humans and animals from a philosophical perspective. Since Sun Quan could not be bothered and ignored him, Cao Cao continued reading his poems.

Footnotes

  1. ^ Sun Quan used to bring along hundred thousand of army for any war. On one battle, he was scared of Zhang Liao who had only 800 soldiers. Ever since then, people started to sneer at him with the name "Sun Hundred Thousand".